I’ve recently had my book “boost your confidence” published in to print which I’m so excited about and I was having a chat with a friend about confidence and negative thoughts, when it dawned on me that I needed to do a blog on this subject. 

We all get them! Even me, and I’m one the most positive people you will meet! But we get plagued by these little monkeys that sometimes just show up to play mind games with us turning our beliefs and confidence up side down. But the good news is that getting those negative monkeys as I like to call them is not the issue, it’s what you do with them that either makes or breaks your confidence and self- esteem.

“Nothing has meaning in life,only the meaning you give it”

If you allow negative thoughts to press your buttons – they will! If you allow negative thoughts to help you -they will! It’s not only you & me that gets negative thoughts -EVERYONE on this planet does – SORRY to burst the bubble but it’s true. But you can change any thought you want by changing what it means to you or the story it plays over in your mind.Negativity can be like a survival instinct, we can only see what’s in front of us a bit Tunnel vision at times.


In order to increase your confidence it is very important to know what triggers off those negative thoughts and emotions that you have.I always find writing stuff down makes it far easier to analyse and respond to them so use a journal to keep track. Remember it’s never the trigger or even the event that makes you feel the way you do, it’s the thoughts as well as the internal dialogue that you say to yourself in response to that trigger.

Okay, Here are a few ideas to stay positive when the triggers are about…

You could prepare a few positive mini mantras to say to yourself regularly throughout the day. . ‘I love and accept myself exactly as I am.’I’m thankful for my wonderful life’ ‘I am fabulous and deserve to look this good’. You may feel comfortable at first when you say these mantras or write them down; that’s expected as it just means you are expanding your comfort zone.

Enjoy the moment do something that makes you feel good, write in your journal, join a gym class, listen to your favourite song, I find music can take you to some amazing places, or go spend time with people you enjoy being with or go do some retail therapy.

Finally, at the end of each day spend some time noticing all the amazing things you’ve done, it could be anything from speaking up at a meeting with an idea or congratulating yourself on going on a well over due date. It can be anything small or big, just write a list and at the end of the week, read it to yourself this is a great way to see how awesome you are.

Now, Ask your self how committed are you to taking your power back with small steps and the help of Boost your Confidence book you can…..

To find out more about my book you can grab a copy here or further information and help you can email me nichola@nicholaenglish.com.

Love My Style, Love Your Style, 



“Nichola is more than a stylist she’s a one woman creative genius and confidence coach with a razor-sharp eye for fashion and style. Featured in various magazines for her knowledge and dedication she can often be found hosting confidence and style boosting workshops and seminars all over the UK sharing her vast knowledge from the stage at BIG events to talking about fashion, style and confidence on BBC radio. Nichola is a qualified Life Coach, NLP Practitioner, Holistic Therapist, and an Award Winning Style Coach, and the founder of The Wardrobe Provocateur, that specialises in using trans-formative methods and tools in coaching and styling, that helps you to discover your own inner style with a better understanding of yourself, your mind, body & wardrobe”


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